It's Finally Ironic (You're Welcome, Alanis)

Lyrics by Eliza Hurwitz and Music by Rachael Hurwitz




An old man turned 98

He won the lottery, and died the next day

from a sever paper cut from his lottery ticket

It's a black fly in your chardonnay

that was specifically purchased to repel black flies

It's a death row pardon that causes your demise,

because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus

And that really is ironic

We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)




It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place

You chose because it's known not to rain

It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way

We've got good advice we're forcing you to take

And who would've thought, it figures!




Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to drive,

Instead he packed his suitcase and got ready to fly

He wasted his whole damn life being afraid of cars

But as the plane crashed down, he thought, well isn't this nice?

And that really is ironic

We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)




It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place

You chose because it's known not to rain

It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way

We've got good advice we're forcing you to take

And who would've thought, it figures!




We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you

When you think your irony is okay and the examples in your song are right

We've got an editorial way of helping you out when your song

About irony is wrong and everyone says it to your face




A traffic jam causes you to leave early,

But you rush and get in a crash, which causes you to be late

A no-smoking sign you hung up when you quit,

Now you started again but can't smoke 'cause of the sign

It's like ten thousand spoons you bought with your only knife

Now all you need is a knife, but you only have spoons!

It's meeting the man of your dreams...

And meeting his beautiful wife at couples therapy




And that really is ironic, don't you think?

Finally ironic, and yeah we really do think




It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place

You chose because it's known not to rain

It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way

We've got good advice we're forcing you to take

Our changes make it so your song makes sense

who would've thought, it figures!




We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you

We've got an editorial, editorial way of helping you out,

Helping you out.


Copyright 2013 by Rachael Hurwitz and Eliza Hurwitz.