1. |
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Your rent is late, just write a note…with some cat pictures
You’re breaking up, just send a text…and throw in some cat pictures
Cats are always cute, therefore so are you
Always keep a photo in your pocket
You fell asleep at work again, give your boss a cat t-shirt,
You madeout with your friend's boyfriend,
just give her a cat picture.
Mom, I’m sorry, I crashed the car,
and overdrafted my debit card.
Don’t you know, I just want to make things right,
so I worked on this all night.
It’s a print-out of a cat picture
cat picture ooh
look at those cat whiskers ooh
Your student loans are in default, how 'bout a video
Your loan provider might forget how much you really owe.
You ate your roommate’s snacks
But show you still have tact
Print some “I Owe You” cat pictures.
Dad, I'm sorry I crashed your car too.
But look, here's something shiny and new.
Don't you know, I just wanna make things right,
So I worked on this all night,
It's a printout of a cat picture (and it's laminated),
Cat picture ooh
Can you hear my cat whispers (meow) ooh
They say just get a job, stop giving us cat pictures.
They say just pay us back, you owe us more than
pictures of cat.
Mom, I'm sorry I burned the house down.
But I can turn that frown upside down.
Dad, are those tears I see?
Can't you just be proud of me...
and my cat pictures!
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2. |
It's Finally Ironic
04:33
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It's Finally Ironic (You're Welcome, Alanis)
Lyrics by Eliza Hurwitz and Music by Rachael Hurwitz
An old man turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day
from a sever paper cut from his lottery ticket
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
that was specifically purchased to repel black flies
It's a death row pardon that causes your demise,
because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus
And that really is ironic
We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)
It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
And who would've thought, it figures!
Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to drive,
Instead he packed his suitcase and got ready to fly
He wasted his whole damn life being afraid of cars
But as the plane crashed down, he thought, well isn't this nice?
And that really is ironic
We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome)
It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
And who would've thought, it figures!
We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you
When you think your irony is okay and the examples in your song are right
We've got an editorial way of helping you out when your song
About irony is wrong and everyone says it to your face
A traffic jam causes you to leave early,
But you rush and get in a crash, which causes you to be late
A no-smoking sign you hung up when you quit,
Now you started again but can't smoke 'cause of the sign
It's like ten thousand spoons you bought with your only knife
Now all you need is a knife, but you only have spoons!
It's meeting the man of your dreams...
And meeting his beautiful wife at couples therapy
And that really is ironic, don't you think?
Finally ironic, and yeah we really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place
You chose because it's known not to rain
It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way
We've got good advice we're forcing you to take
Our changes make it so your song makes sense
who would've thought, it figures!
We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you
We've got an editorial, editorial way of helping you out,
Helping you out.
Copyright 2013 by Rachael Hurwitz and Eliza Hurwitz.
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3. |
I Date the Mime
03:07
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I Date the Mime
I'm on a new site
Dating's been so easy I'm so glad
I've got a message from this guy named Brad
He's got a brother
So there's one for you and one for me
Oooohh, are they wearing makeup?
I date the mime, we talk/mimed over wine, I date the mime
His hands tell me stories, but I can't understand them.
I date the mime, he spilled wine but it was fine, I date the mime.
Now he's gonna drag me up with his imaginary rope of love
But what's a rope of love?
Under your mime face
For so many dates I've wondered who you are
How could a person like you bring me joy?
Under your mime face
I see a lot of heart
Oooohh give me that makeup
I love the mime, we hang out all the time, I love the mime
I try to tell stories, and I hope he understands them
I love the mime, he's silent but he's kind, I love the mime
Now he's gonna drag me up with his imaginary rope of love
Still what's a rope of love?
I saw the mime with someone else this time
He was kissing her with his mime lips
He thought I didn't mind
Hey, f*** you mime! You stupid f***ing mime, I hate the mime!
I'm still wearing mime makeup, and I look like a f***ing idiot
I loved a mime (I loved a mime?)
I f***ed a mime (I f***ed a mime?)
I quit the mime (I quit the mime!)
Can't believe I got two-timed by a f***ing mime!
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