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I Date the Mime

by Rachael and Eliza Hurwitz

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1.
Your rent is late, just write a note…with some cat pictures You’re breaking up, just send a text…and throw in some cat pictures Cats are always cute, therefore so are you Always keep a photo in your pocket You fell asleep at work again, give your boss a cat t-shirt, You madeout with your friend's boyfriend, just give her a cat picture. Mom, I’m sorry, I crashed the car, and overdrafted my debit card. Don’t you know, I just want to make things right, so I worked on this all night. It’s a print-out of a cat picture cat picture ooh look at those cat whiskers ooh Your student loans are in default, how 'bout a video Your loan provider might forget how much you really owe. You ate your roommate’s snacks But show you still have tact Print some “I Owe You” cat pictures. Dad, I'm sorry I crashed your car too. But look, here's something shiny and new. Don't you know, I just wanna make things right, So I worked on this all night, It's a printout of a cat picture (and it's laminated), Cat picture ooh Can you hear my cat whispers (meow) ooh They say just get a job, stop giving us cat pictures. They say just pay us back, you owe us more than pictures of cat. Mom, I'm sorry I burned the house down. But I can turn that frown upside down. Dad, are those tears I see? Can't you just be proud of me... and my cat pictures!
2.
It's Finally Ironic (You're Welcome, Alanis) Lyrics by Eliza Hurwitz and Music by Rachael Hurwitz An old man turned 98 He won the lottery, and died the next day from a sever paper cut from his lottery ticket It's a black fly in your chardonnay that was specifically purchased to repel black flies It's a death row pardon that causes your demise, because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus And that really is ironic We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome) It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place You chose because it's known not to rain It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way We've got good advice we're forcing you to take And who would've thought, it figures! Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to drive, Instead he packed his suitcase and got ready to fly He wasted his whole damn life being afraid of cars But as the plane crashed down, he thought, well isn't this nice? And that really is ironic We fixed it for you, Alanis (you're welcome) It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place You chose because it's known not to rain It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way We've got good advice we're forcing you to take And who would've thought, it figures! We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you When you think your irony is okay and the examples in your song are right We've got an editorial way of helping you out when your song About irony is wrong and everyone says it to your face A traffic jam causes you to leave early, But you rush and get in a crash, which causes you to be late A no-smoking sign you hung up when you quit, Now you started again but can't smoke 'cause of the sign It's like ten thousand spoons you bought with your only knife Now all you need is a knife, but you only have spoons! It's meeting the man of your dreams... And meeting his beautiful wife at couples therapy And that really is ironic, don't you think? Finally ironic, and yeah we really do think It's like rain on your wedding day, a day and place You chose because it's known not to rain It's a free ride, but you get mugged on the way We've got good advice we're forcing you to take Our changes make it so your song makes sense who would've thought, it figures! We've got an editorial way of sneaking up on you We've got an editorial, editorial way of helping you out, Helping you out. Copyright 2013 by Rachael Hurwitz and Eliza Hurwitz.
3.
I Date the Mime I'm on a new site Dating's been so easy I'm so glad I've got a message from this guy named Brad He's got a brother So there's one for you and one for me Oooohh, are they wearing makeup? I date the mime, we talk/mimed over wine, I date the mime His hands tell me stories, but I can't understand them. I date the mime, he spilled wine but it was fine, I date the mime. Now he's gonna drag me up with his imaginary rope of love But what's a rope of love? Under your mime face For so many dates I've wondered who you are How could a person like you bring me joy? Under your mime face I see a lot of heart Oooohh give me that makeup I love the mime, we hang out all the time, I love the mime I try to tell stories, and I hope he understands them I love the mime, he's silent but he's kind, I love the mime Now he's gonna drag me up with his imaginary rope of love Still what's a rope of love? I saw the mime with someone else this time He was kissing her with his mime lips He thought I didn't mind Hey, f*** you mime! You stupid f***ing mime, I hate the mime! I'm still wearing mime makeup, and I look like a f***ing idiot I loved a mime (I loved a mime?) I f***ed a mime (I f***ed a mime?) I quit the mime (I quit the mime!) Can't believe I got two-timed by a f***ing mime!

about

Rachael and Eliza take you on a comedy music journey in this album, and hopefully don't weird you out too much.

credits

released May 12, 2014

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Rachael Hurwitz New York, New York

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